In this, the season of dicks, the internet won’t rest until it has imagined the measurements of every member that’s ever passed over a red carpet; all you can do if you have a famous dick is to pray that your colleagues and exes will be merciful enough to spare you from Andy Cohen til BDE blows over. Justin Timberlake was not so lucky.
Andy invited over Patricia Clarkson and Elizabeth Perkins to play “HOW BIG WAS IT?” a game which Andy invented because Elizabeth starred in a movie called “Big” in 1988, for Andy is thirsty.
So, Patricia: who had the BIGGEST chance of being your friends with benefits on the set of Friends With Benefits [a movie starring Justin Timberlake including a scene in which Patricia Clarkson walks in on him nude]:
“Hands down, Justin Timberlake. Cuz if we want to talk about big–”
“Sorry Justin, oh God–”
“Is Justin...endowed well?”
“Well, he....yeah...I had the good fortune to see him all there...they were shooting a scene where they couldn’t keep anything on...”
“They couldn’t cover him!”
“Yes, he is a gorgeous man.”
“He’s gifted below the waist?”
Andy says it’s his best scoop ever.
Andy has been fed.
But he’ll never be finished.
Daddio stepped out.
- Well, yeah the royals baptize their babies in gilded fonts and fly in the water from the River Jordan, the water of Jesus himself. [The Sun]
- More of these two. [E! Online]
- The Sun believes that it has video of Harry swatting away Meghan’s hand for royal protocol. Plausible. [The Sun]
- Brazilian model Sabrina Jales St. Pierre is suing a hotel after allegedly waking up in 2016 with humongous bed bug welts and oh my GOD they are HORRIBLE, and she says she still has nightmares, and I believe it because WOAH this is TERRIFYING. [People]
- Bella Hadid replies to Perez Hilton about speculation that some lyrics on Drake’s new album are about her. They’re just friends. [Twitter]
- Checking in on Taylor: all good! [People]