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Nicole Richie Would Rather Not Stick Her Hand in Another Cow's Butthole

Illustration for article titled Nicole Richie Would Rather Not Stick Her Hand in Another Cows Butthole
Image: Getty

If the quality of Naomi Cambell’s new interview show, No Filter With Naomi, is anything to go by, bloggers everywhere should just quit our jobs now. We simply cannot compete with the level of journalistic brilliance she brings when casually chatting with her famous friends. Or, I’ve completely lost my mind—who really cares! Anyway, on yesterday’s episode, I learned that Nicole Richie is having a hard time finding garlic and onions in Los Angeles right now. She also has honey bees she harvests from. If pressed, she’d go to a concert with Naomi Campbell. Oh, and she’d rather not stick her hand in another cow’s butthole ever, ever again.

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While speaking with Campbell, she reminisced on one of The Simple Life’s more memorable episodes, which involved Richie shoving her hand inside a cow, before chasing Paris Hilton around with the shit-stained glove. Riveting stuff! According to Richie, “The pressure of going inside the cow? That feeling will never leave my body.” Also, as expected, she claims there was a lot of pressure from producers former to go through with it, evident by Hilton’s prolonged screams of “I’m not doing that! Ew!”

According to Richie, The Simple Life was also one of the first reality shows that asked its participants to truly leave their lives, considering the only other massive reality shows on air at the time were “Real World and The Osbournes.” While not wholly true—wasn’t Survivor also around?—it does feel true, considering just how many knock-offs The Simple Life spawned. Even Campbell claims that the Kardashians wouldn’t exist if not for Paris and Nicole traipsing around farms and gawking at working class people. In an alternate universe, Kim is still cleaning up Paris’s closet and wondering when she will be rich and hot enough to own 30 Birkin bags. [Hollywood Life]


Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel? They’re doing fine, really. Everything between them is completely cool and normal and happy. Nobody is pointing fingers or wondering about misplaced hands on other people’s thighs. They’re not arguing, or fighting, or getting irrationally angry with each other. It’s the calmest their marriage has probably ever been, and they’re really, truly, deeply, madly in love with each other. Isn’t that nice?

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During an appearance on The Morning Mash Up, host Jessica Ryan asked Timberlake how social isolation has helped their marriage (or “hindered it”). Timberlake responded:

“We thought the best way to kinda do our part… We have a place in Montana. We feel very lucky and kind of blessed… We’re in a place where, they’re pretty socially distant here anyway, where our place it. Just being able to kind of walk out into your driveway, maybe go for a little hike. We’re doing good. We’re mostly commiserating over the fact that… just 24-hour parenting is not human.”

What a normal and rational answer about the marriage he is definitely having a good time in! It sure sounds like Biel, for her part, is really having a blast with Timberlake around more. And, in these trying times, it’s so nice that they have each other to commiserate with, considering just how large and spacious that Montana ranch is. It’d be easy to lose each other on all that acreage, so it’s shocking to see them dedicate their time to really reconnecting and sticking together through this. Good for them! Best wishes, and all the luck in the world to the happy, happy couple. [Just Jared]


I am truly speechless about this Cassie Randolph x Peta crossover.

Here’s what Caitlyn Jenner’s up to:

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  • Bella Thorne has also been outed as a landlord. [Page Six]
  • Would you listen to a Jordyn Woods album? [People]
  • She says she wouldn’t, but Kyle Richards would probably hate Jessica Simpson (or manipulate everyone against her) if she was on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. [Hollywood Life]
  • Shut up, Dennis Quaid. [Just Jared]
  • Andy Cohen donated $1,000 to Cubbyhole. [Page Six]
  • Here are some pictures of Adam Brody. [Just Jared]

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DISCUSSION

crankylittlephoton2
crankylittlephoton

I’ve heard quite a few stupid, tone-deaf quotes from celebs during this crisis, but that JT quote takes the cake. You feel sort of blessed? Parenting without an army of nannies is hard? Shut upppppppp.

God, that dude is insufferable.