Cardi B claims that she decided to release her new single “Money” after Nicki Minaj’s deranged legion of superfans, colloquially known as the Barbz, managed to leak the song. Cardi addressed the matter in an IG live video, listing the various ways Nicki’s fandom have irked her:
I tried to retract it, but, you know, the Barbz… They always posting me. They always post whatever I do, you know what I’m saying? They claim they hate me but they really love me. Because they be on my page before my fans. Everything that I do, they be on it before my fans. So clearly, that seems like love to me. Seems like you love me. So it’s like f*** it, I can’t retract it, I might as well put it out.
It’s not an unbelievable or even incredibly shocking claim. The Barbz, which one Twitter user aptly described as “angry gay youth,” have always been amongst the more extreme factions of celebrity standoms. They’re not as terrifying as the Bey hive, which legit feels like B613, even though I’ve been a member since I was 12. They’re more annoyingly childish, grating. This is compounded by the fact that Nicki herself tends to irresponsibly wield them. A few months back, she joked about having them physically harm someone she’d been arguing with on the internet. There was also the episode where, upon Nicki’s revelation that she hadn’t secured permission to sample a song belonging to Tracy Chapman, the Barbz began DMing the “Fast Car” songwriter. Either way, if this is going to devolve into stan wars, I want no parts.
Jennifer Garner, who finalized her divorce from Ben Affleck this month, allegedly has a new man: John Miller, CEO of CaliGroup, which owns the Cali Burger Chain. They are allegedly not serious and Mr. Miller, also a divorcee, has yet to meet her children. More importantly: what is a Cali Burger? On the burger scale, is it above or below Shake Shack? In N Out? What is their burger ethos? Like are they all about the grass-fed, humongous alien patties, with minimal dressing? Or a simple beef patty, with a special housemade sauce, organic tomatoes, artisanal pickles, shallots instead of onions, etc? What is their cheese situation—is it Havarti, cheddar, Swiss? These are the questions I hope Jennifer intends to address with her new partner. It’s already more exciting than dating... Batman.