New Video Proves Robin Thicke Is The Beyoncé of Pretending To Be Sorry

What rhymes with “desperate?”

Robin Thicke has released the video for his new single “Get Her Back” after his new album Paula as part of carefully choreographed marketing effort to appear remorseful for all that stuff he did before Paula Patton broke up with him. Is he really trying to win her back, or is he just trying to sell records about winning her back, knowing that she will not come back? This video’s got it all: texting. Muted colors. One single beautiful woman who looks a lot like Paula Patton. Shirtlessness (denoting sincerity, not the other kinds of shirtlessness which denotes lechery or homoerotic Top Gun volleyball). Robin Thicke is the sorriest.

The crooner behind the opus of understated restraint we know as “Blurred Lines” also released his album’s tracklist recently, which is also about as subtle as farting into a bullhorn.

1. “You’re My Fantasy”
2. “Get Her Back”
3. “Still Madly Crazy”
4. “Lock the Door”
5. “Whatever I Want”
6. “Living in New York City”
7. “Love Can Grow Back”
8. “Black Tar Cloud”
9. “Too Little Too Late”
10. “Tippy Toes”
11. “Something Bad”
12. “The Opposite of Me”
13. “Time of Your Life”
14. “Forever Love”

Bonus track: “Relevance (Let’s Keep This Going).”

Cynically, I wonder if Paula is in on it. If she is, she’s a diabolical genius.