On Thursday night, First Lady Michelle Obama visited The Late Show to swap stories with Letterman about their kids. Wonder how Sasha and Malia are doing?

They’re fine. They’re normal. Kids grow up fast. One minute they’re staring at you blankly, with zero ability to carry on intelligent conversation. The next minute, they’re assholes scowling behind a locked room, screaming DMX lyrics on repeat (not describing myself, just saying).

Malia, 16, is officially behind the wheel doing independent things and feeling all adult—“She’s out on the road,” says FLOTUS. So like every mom in America, the Obamas have used this opportunity to make Malia do stuff like pick up groceries.

“When kids get their licenses, they’re ready to do anything, so she actually came and said, ‘Ma, you need any errands?’” says Michelle. “She ran out and ran errands.”

What else is there.... Ugh, boys, am I right?

Letterman asks Michelle about boys at parties, to which she responds, “There are always boys at the parties. That’s okay. Barack is handling that o-kay.”

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FLOTUS also says of her daughters, “We treat them normally. We don’t let our circumstance become an excuse for them.” And, “I’m not gonna say which one is which, but we have one who generally stays here [even-keeled], and then we have one we call our Grumpy Cat. Our salty biscuit... I’m not saying. They could be watching. But they know who they are.”

Sasha.

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