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*Extremely Italian stereotype voice* Mamma mia! Itsah been a spicy, spicy year!

CNN reports that 2018 is on track to be the fourth hottest year on record according to data from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, and that is frankly just too-ah spicy! The other hottest years have been 2015, 2016, and 2017, so I can only assume it’s just going to get hotter and hotter until my skin melts away in the heat of the sun like delicious mozzarella pulled from the top of a pizza. Yum!

The fact that it’s going to be the fourth hottest year to date is just more proof that climate change is real, just in case you haven’t been keeping up with the massive wildfires, the fact that people don’t want to have kids because the planet is going to get so bad, and all the hurricanes and droughts that driving people out of their countries to seek refuge elsewhere. You know how when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore? Well when global warming hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s called the end of civilization. *Chefs kiss*

I guess we’re all just burning up on this big spicy meatball called Earth!