"Mrs. Crystal Hefner" Playboy Cover Receives Some Last-Minute Alterations

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Jilted groom Hugh Hefter has some parting words for his now-ex fiancee Crystal Harris.

A cover introducing 25-year-old Crystal Harris as “America’s Princess Mrs. Crystal Hefner” had already gone to press when the bride had a “change of heart” and left Hefner just in time for her single to hit iTunes, so Hef placed a big “RUNAWAY BRIDE” sticker on the middle of the issue’s cover.

Who will strike next in this battle of two people who are both kind of bad?

Am I alone in thinking that this entire thing is fake and that we’re all caught in a long con courtesy of Hugh Hefner’s fading star and Crystal Harris’ fame-hungry ambitions? Hef’s an old dude trying to help out a hot woman who spent a lot of time letting him have sex with her. Crystal’s a young woman who would believe Hugh Hefner when he told her that faking an engagement and called-off wedding would grant her the notoriety necessary to launch a talentless pop career with any kind of longevity (it won’t). Hugh Hefner’s an old guy who wants to be seen as a sympathetic protagonist in spite of his sluttery and come out on top in the long run. Win-win-win. We’re the ones who are losing here!

Someone hold my tin foil hat.

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