Mr. Clean Is NOT Sexy

Male advertising executives who have never felt the touch of a woman know there’s one thing ladies love: daydreaming about animated men cleaning their own homes.

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In a newly released Super Bowl ad, the “Cleaner of Your Dreams” is apparently an animated man, who looks strangely animatronic, that waltzes around your house with Clorox cleaning products in a wholly impractical all-white outfit. Also, he turns out just to be your regular old husband who happened to participate in the upkeep of his household that day.

Let’s get a couple things out of the way: Obviously this is insulting because it implies women are A) either interested in fucking animated characters or daydream about fucking animated characters and B) that we should be impressed and turned on by a grown man being a responsible adult and pitching in with the cleaning his own home.

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Of course, this is a Super Bowl ad, so I can’t say it’s shocking. I expect for women to be disrespected by advertisers during the biggest event of the year for an organization where it seems like violence against women is practically a requirement for membership. Par for the course.

No, instead I’m going to focus on what I found most offensive here, which is the fact that Mr. Clean isn’t even sexy. If you’re going to give me a disturbing Magic Mike fantasy at least have the decency not to make the sexy housekeeper/stripper look like some Sims character with a spiteful aesthetician.

Illustration for article titled Mr. Clean Is NOT Sexy

What is up with these shoulder proportions? He looks like he’s wearing mutton sleeves or stuffed bowling balls up his shirt.

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Illustration for article titled Mr. Clean Is NOT Sexy

This is just disgusting and I have no idea why he’s using so much water on his Magic Eraser. It only needs to be damp!

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Illustration for article titled Mr. Clean Is NOT Sexy

WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN THE FIRST AND LAST YEARS OF BENJAMIN BUTTON’S LIFE?

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And then there’s this.

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I hate the world we live in.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

captainjanewayhasnotimeforyourbullshit
Captain Janeway

his face is weird af but his ass is pretty ok. but ew though, what a fucking bizarre commercial.

also that last gif is hysterical and mesmerizing.