Illustration for article titled Mommy Is a Take on Money for the Rest of Us
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In her seminal treatise on the benefits of money, the aptly titled “Money,” Cardi B comprehensively explores the pleasures money brings, such as “boarding jets” and “morning sex,” which aren’t acts that are expressly forbidden to those of us without diamonds on our necks but are often made difficult by the prohibitive costs of airfare and a traditional eight-hour work day.


But in an update of the song, “Mommy,” blogger Jessica Rose democratizes the original by exploring the accouterments of motherhood, including Ziplock bags and chilled snacks.

Surely even celibate airplane-haters without money or kids can find connection to the universal in the lines: “Walking through my front door/I’m like ‘where’s my wine?’” Even Tiffany Haddish agrees:


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