Says the ominous press release, the line, Minnie Muse, "portrays Minnie Mouse in a whole new way—leggy, modern and glamorous." Uh oh.
What, you wonder, was wrong with the old Minnie Mouse? Apparently about 60 pounds and nine inches. She's been stretched and put on the Zone. Because, you see, she's now a well-traveled sophisticate.
The upcoming collection follows Minnie Mouse shopping in fashion capitals London, Paris and Tokyo in preparation for her line. Disney Consumer Products designed the special Minnie Mouse character art and style guide especially for modern fashionistas, just like Forever 21's customers. The style is fresh and portrays Minnie Mouse in a whole new way-leggy, modern and glamorous.
We'll leave aside the fact that, apparently only owning one outfit, Minnie never needed to shop much before: she had to get with the times! On credit, presumably.
The clothes themselves apparently involve "sequined statement pieces, amazing accessories and must-have tees." Our spy on the ground, Katie, tells us: "I just so happened to see this email while walking through Union Square, so I had to see it for myself. I'd give it 2% borderline acceptable and 98% terrible." And while the Disney critters have never been big on versimilitude, we're questioning the biological accuracy of this new and sinister form of fauna.