Michelle Obama Will Never Stop Going in on Donald Trump

Image via AP
Image via AP

Like the indefatigable rapper Rich Homie Quan, who promised us in 2013 that he will never stop going in, Michelle Obama continues to drag Donald Trump, a wizened ogre of a man with a mouth like an anus, as she stumps for Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail.

The FLOTUS is not one to drag in a performative nature; she is subtle as befitting a First Lady. CNN reports that at a campaign stop Tuesday in North Carolina, Obama came for Trump in the most delicate of ways, saying “When she gets knocked down, she doesn’t complain, she doesn’t cry foul,” while tapping her mic repeatedly in homage to Trump’s numerous complaints of AV issues at the two-alarm-fire that was the first presidential debate.


In the same speech Tuesday, Obama also came after Trump’s irrational, erratic behavior, making the very solid point that a President with a propensity for “popping off” at every slight probably shouldn’t been charge of shit, including but not limited to the United Fucking States. “And I think we can all agree that someone who’s roaming around at 3 a.m. tweeting should not have their fingers on the nuclear code,” she said, to what I imagine was rapturous applause.

Last week at a campaign stop in Pennsylvania, Obama told a crowd, “We need an adult in the White House” — the truth, but also merely a warm-up for whatever else she’s got up her sleeve.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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It is utterly unfair to the rest of us poor slobs that Michelle Obama is allowed to be so flawless. Beautiful, smart, classy, married to Barrack, excellent speaker, funny.....