Minnesota About to Become 12th State to Legalize Marriage Equality

Illustration for article titled Minnesota About to Become 12th State to Legalize Marriage Equality

Minnesota will most likely become the 12th state to legalize same-sex marriage when Gov. Mark Dayton signs it into law tomorrow. It's a good day for love, folks!

In super fun fake news joke down: The Daily Currant, which did totally trick me into thinking it was a real news publication GOOD JOB GUYZ, reasonably predicts Michele Bachmann's reaction:

"The Bible is very clear on this issue," she told KSTP-TV this morning, "Homosexuality is a sin, and God will punish communities that support it.

"Sodom and Gomorrah thought they could defy the will of God - and we all know what happened to them. If the governor signs this legislation into law the Minneapolis-St. Paul region will be next.

"I have a friend from Eden Prairie who's already packed everything she owns into her car and is driving out to Montana as we speak. These are very scary times. I don't want my family to be the last ones out."


Just lollolololololol. First, you're not going anywhere, Michele Bachmann, and you know it. And B: Fine! Run to Montana; we'll just find you there, too. Marriage equality is coming, and there's nowhere you can hide. (Except maybe up your husband's butthole? HEY OH!)

[Daily Currant]

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C.A. Pinkham

Ohhhhh, Laura. Nooo. If you see "Daily Currant," it's satire. I know that unlike the Onion, it can be difficult to tell with them sometimes because their quotes sound realistic. You know I love you, and you're obviously still my imaginary bestie, but no.