Mermaid Bracket, The Final Four: Getting Down to the Wire

Illustration by Angelica Alzona/GMG
Illustration by Angelica Alzona/GMG

We are so close!


All we’re doing here is trying to figure out what or who in the heck is going to relieve the mermaid of her duties as beauty ambassador for the masses. We are very, very close. Here’s where we stand.

In the Creature Division, it was a tight race between Succubus (5) and Sphinx (6), but in the end, the screaming, soul-sucking demon won. It was not a very tight race at ALL in the Fairy Tale Division, with Siren (6) easily beating Fairy (1). The Monster Division is where the queen of my heart, Baba Yaga (1) lives and she beat the Dragon(11), though it was a tight squeeze. And finally, La Llorona (6) trounced the Cyborg (1) in the Miscellaneous Division, leaving us with a very exciting Final Four!!

Illustration for article titled Mermaid Bracket, The Final Four: Getting Down to the Wire

Vote as if your entire freaking life depends on it.

Our first head to head battle brings two very strong contenders against each other: from the Creature Division, the Succubus (5) battles fan favorite Baba Yaga (1) from the Monsters. Let’s really think this through here, though both options are certainly alluring. Baba Yaga’s aesthetic would be easily accessible: she loves a blousy top, and decorates by strewing piles of bones around her home, along with what I assume are bundles of herbs. Basically you might already know someone who is Baba Yaga, or at least embodies her spirit on Instagram. A succubus is a demon that sleeps with men while they’re sleeping. Power via sex or power via chicken bones? You tell me!

Another very interesting battle is heating up in the Fairy Tale vs Miscellaneous division. Here we have La Llorona (6) against Siren (6) — a choice that may seem like asking you to pick between two very similar things, but let’s take a closer look. La Llorona’s sad girl aesthetic and her deep, unabiding sorrow as she trawls the earth looking for the children she drowned in a river is probably already a Look somewhere— and the marketing potential for waterproof makeup is untapped here. A siren is kind of like a mean mermaid, but with a better singing voice. Do what you will, but really think about your choices here. This is important!!


That’s it! There you have it! Vote and we’ll be back here tomorrow for what will surely be a real nail-biter of a final.


A brief note: this poll originally had La Llorona facing off against herself, which is incorrect and wrong and a mistake!! That mistake has been remedied and it was clearly unintentional. We’ll leave this up for another day to correct for any confusion.

Hazel Cills is the Pop Culture Reporter at Jezebel. Her writing has been published by outlets including The Los Angeles Times, Pitchfork, Rolling Stone, The New York Times Magazine, ELLE, and more.

Senior Writer, Jezebel