Men Spend More On Mistresses Than Wives, Say Mistresses

Maybe men do spend more on their mistresses than on their wives, but we’re suspicious about the source of these statistics.

This survey, you see, was commissioned by the endlessly depressing, 80s-inflected “infidelity service” AshleyMadison.com, which is to say that the sample size was men who not only cheat but explicitly go out looking for mistresses on a web site — and the women who go there to find them. We’re guessing it’s something of a self-selecting population.

But, of this group of self-described sugar-daddies and their babies, the stats are as follows, according to the Daily News:

The typical cheater spends around $60 on his wife and $125 on his mistress, the survey says. As for what that money buys, the three most popular gifts for wives, in descending order, are perfume, bath and body products, and gift cards. The mistress gets the better deal: she’s likely to receive jewelry, followed by lingerie and a spa day.

First of all, these cheaters are cheapskates, full-stop. Second, talk about cliche! Jewelry and lingerie for a mistress? Why not throw in a stole while you’re at it, Daddy Warbucks! Oh, wait, that would cost more than $100 bucks.

And in case you’re one of these hapless wives, it gets worse: while the recession has caused said men to spend some $17 less per wife, the mistresses’ stipends have stayed the same. Although, given that all these people are apparently living in 1963, maybe that seems like a lot.