Image: Getty

Thomas Markle cannot stop telling the paparazzi how mad at him Meghan is for continuing to talk to the paparazzi. But this time, he’s coming for the royal family.

In a recent interview with The Mail on Sunday, Markle said he’s definitely not as bad as Prince Harry:

“I’ve pleaded with her to pick up the phone. I wrote her a two-page letter and sent it by certified mail via her representative in Los Angeles. I asked her why she was believing the lies. I also pointed out the Royals haven’t always been perfectly behaved. I wrote that I’ve never played pool naked, nor have I dressed up as a Nazi.” 

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Or Prince Charles:

“Everyone says, why don’t I just shut the f*** up? That Meghan can’t speak to me because I’ll give away secrets. But that’s bull****. I’ve been accused of every terrible thing you can think of. In one magazine they had an awful story about Prince Charles right beside one about me. But no one is shunning Prince Charles.”

Markle failed to mention whether or not he’s as bad as Henry VIII or Richard III.

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After complaining that the Duchess of Sussex believes unsubstantiated stories about him in the press, Markle then commented on a few unsubstantiated stories about his daughter in the press:

Meghan’s father says he is baffled by the reports. “I don’t recognise this person,” he says, shaking his head. “The Meghan I know was always sweet, kind, generous. She was always demanding but never rude. I don’t want to say or do anything to hurt my daughter but I worry she is going to hurt herself.”

Also up for grabs in the interview were dozens of handwritten cards from Meghan to her father, and the biggest bombshell of all:

Meghan trained as a calligrapher and wrote wedding invitations to help support herself through the early days of her acting career, a skill highlighted in her cards to her father, which are written in elegant cursive script.

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Her cursive really is very good.