Mauricio Umansky Went Skiing With Anitta…

Happy Holidays from all of us at Jezebel. Our gift to you is that today, for one day only, we’re publishing TWO Dirt Bags.

Every Christmas, Hollywood’s elite descend upon Aspen for the holidays and 2023 is no different. A newly single Mariah Carey was spotted on a shopping trip, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell were just photographed kissing kinda weirdly, and Kendall Jenner and Hailey Bieber have been engaging in a ridiculous coat-off. Fresh off his Dancing With the Stars stint, Mauricio Umansky has joined them and is on his divorced-guy bullshit.

On Sunday, the realtor and reality television star was photographed stepping out with someone called Alexandria Wolfe—a Beverly Hills-based fashion designer and influencer. She’s also reportedly 20 years Umansky’s junior and, I have to note, looks like she would play his estranged wife and Real Housewife of Beverly Hills, Kyle Richards, in a Lifetime movie.

Then, on Wednesday, Umansky shared via Instagram stories that he was skiing with Brazilian singer-songwriter, Anitta, and his DWTS competitor and Venezuelan YouTuber, Lele Pons. “Some fun Shananigans about to occur,” he wrote alongside a video of the three on the slopes. Then, he posted a photo of Anitta and Pons in nothing but towels, swilling champagne from the bottle and sitting in the snow. Meanwhile, on her Instagram story, Anitta called Umansky, “the best video maker” after posting a video of her and Pons skiing in their towels. Huh.

Elsewhere in Umansky’s story, he’s seen dancing to “Jive Talkin’” by the Bee Gees in a flannel shirt. Again, divorced-guy bullshit.

Now, where is Richards, you might wonder. Per her own Instagram activity, she’s “escaping reality” in Punta De Mita, Mexico. If my estranged husband and the father of my daughters were out here participating and posting “shananigans,” I, too, would be escaping reality.

Will Morgan Wade soon make an appearance on Ms. Richards’ stories? Dear Santa…

• “I made an ass out of myself,” Denise Richards says of her return to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. No, babe. You and your upside-down jacket made cinema. [People]
• Here, have another notable quotable: “I’m free, I can do whatever I want,” Kesha tells a fan following her liberation from Dr. L*ke. [Pop Crave]
• One more: “I’m just tired of working so hard, being gracious about what I do, getting paid a fraction of the cost,” Taraji P. Henson told Gayle King of maybe quitting showbiz. [THR]
• Beyoncé and Jay Z do sightseeing in New York City a little differently than most families. [TMZ]
• Someone should check on Demi Lovato’s ex, who very much appears to be spiraling in the wake of her engagement announcement. [Page Six]