Illustration: Bobby Finger

People published some beautiful images of shitbag former morning show host Matt Lauer galavanting on Havens Beach in Sag Harbor. We do not have the rights to these images (nor the budget to purchase them, because honestly what a waste), but you can either view them here or see my rendering above. (Not to toot my own horn, but it’s pretty close to the real thing!)

Lauer was floating on the water and yukking it up for a “Paddle for Pink” event benefiting breast cancer research, which is honestly not enough of a good deed for me to be OK with seeing him out in the sun on a very expensive beach most of us cannot even imagine visiting and spending time out in the cool water in the middle of a hot summer day, only to return to his home which is surely better air conditioned than my apartment, which is a pain in the ass to cool, as I sit here re-reading stories about the women he allegedly harassed and intimidated while acting as the face of NBC mornings for millions upon millions of dollars a year.

While you watch him paddle freely on the water, remember that this is what usually happens to “disgraced” men in his position. And spare me any wannabe sob stories about his marriage falling apart and needing to unload real estate—this is his Tuesday: a picturesque afternoon on the beach surrounded by his wealthy, adoring defenders. Congratulations, Matt! You’re having a better summer than I am.