Matt Gaetz's Desperate PR Campaign Is Not Doing What He Thinks It's Doing

Illustration for article titled Matt Gaetz's Desperate PR Campaign Is Not Doing What He Thinks It's Doing
Image: Mandel Ngan (Getty Images)

I spent this past week blissfully disconnected from anything vaguely resembling news, hiking in the desert with my dog and enjoying the bountiful benefits of legal weed. So imagine my dismay when I reluctantly plugged my just-cleansed brain into the internet this morning and read of everything happening with Matt Gaetz, who is being investigated by the Department of Justice for allegedly having sex with a 17-year-old girl and violating sex trafficking laws, an investigation that also is concerned with whether Gaetz paid women for sex as well as poking into his alleged MDMA habit. Oh, and he’s apparently a nasty little sex pest to boot!

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Since the news of the federal investigation broke, Gaetz has issued strenuous denials and mounted a vigorous defense, which included temporarily breaking the brain of Tucker Carlson.

Unfortunately for Gaetz, his public relations campaign continues to proceed...not quite as planned. Case in point: on Monday, Gaetz trotted out his former aide and Air Force Captain Nathaniel Nelson, to refute the charges made against the member of Congress. Nelson claimed that he was “convinced that the allegations against Congressman Gaetz are likewise fabricated.” But when asked if he had any evidence to back up his belief, Nelson admitted he had nothing.

Via the Daily Beast:

Yet when reporters pressed Nelson on whether he could refute the reports that Gaetz had inappropriate or even illegal relationships with much younger women, the veteran admitted he could not.

“I’m not here to provide any degree of evidence in support of Congressman Gaetz, only to discredit these baseless allegations,” he said. “I don’t have any specific knowledge on the investigation or any of the facts that are involved with the investigation.”

Nelson also shared that he hadn’t spoken to Gaetz in “several months.”

Also on Monday, Gaetz published an op-ed in which he again claimed innocence and seemed to blame the “Deep State” for his woes. “Folks won’t be surprised that bizarre claims are being made about me shortly after I decided to take on the most powerful institutions in the Beltway: the establishment; the FBI; the Biden Justice Department; the Cheney political dynasty; even the Justice Department under Trump,” Gaetz wrote.

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His blog is full of incredible sentences, some of which I will share with you now to save you the time of reading something by Gaetz published in the Washington Examiner:

Yes, just like the mafia, the D.C. swamp protects its “made men.”

First, I have never, ever paid for sex. And second, I, as an adult man, have not slept with a 17-year-old.

My lifestyle of yesteryear may be different from how I live now, but it was not and is not illegal.

The battle for America’s future demands gladiators, and I am going to keep getting back up and fighting, every single day.

You’ll see more “drip, drip, drip” of leaks into the media from the corrupt Justice Department and others. When you do, ask yourself why. They aren’t coming for me — they are coming for you. I’m just in the way.

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Can’t wait to see what “adult man” Gaetz comes up with next!

Senior reporter, Jezebel

DISCUSSION

simulord
SimuLord

“I’m not here to provide any degree of evidence in support of Congressman Gaetz, only to discredit these baseless allegations,”

People who believe this is how American jurisprudence is supposed to work should be automatically disqualified from voting or holding public office.