Masturbating Otter Is Dead

Illustration for article titled Masturbating Otter Is Dead
Image: AP

Eddie the sea otter, talented at jerking off and respected for his uncanny ability to dunk toys into a basketball hoop, has passed away at the ripe old age of 20. He really knew how to have fun.

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The Oregon Zoo announced the ottererotic zoo-dweller’s passing on Thursday. According to the zoo’s press release, Eddie was rescued as a pup from the coast of California in 1998 and arrived at his Oregon enclosure in 2000, where he remained until he was euthanized on Thursday.

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“Male sea otters seldom live pasts 15 years,” said Amy Cutting, supervisor of the zoo’s marine life area, in a the press release, “so Eddie was among the very oldest of his kind.” Furthermore, “At nearly 21, Eddie was considered one of the oldest—and most talented—sea otters on the planet.”

Eddie enjoyed viral dominion beginning in 2012, when video surfaced of him dunking his toy basketball into a hoop. Eddie also enjoyed sucking his own dick.

Let’s all rub one out—or pour one out, whatever—for Eddie.

contributing writer, nights

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