For a woman who has built an empire marketing her own smugly tied gingham ribbon of perfection and self-satisfied domesticity, Martha Stewart is remarkably terrible at one thing that, in the digital age, is almost unavoidable: sharing pictures of food on social media. In fact, Martha Stewart’s Twitter feed is characterized by food photos so awful that they make gourmet cuisine look about as appetizing as medical textbooks.
Don’t get me wrong; I love Martha Stewart and her Cooking School book changed my life. It actually makes me feel good to know she’s not perfect. Makes her more relatable than even her felony conviction. But, Christ, the food tweets. They’re so bad.
First, there was this, which a friend pointed out to me today:
It just looks like she drank a gallon of heavy cream, ran a mile to the quad, and barfed on a plate of lettuce as part of a bizarre hazing ritual.
But the Icebarf lettuce wedge was only the tip of the Bad Twitter Food Photos iceberg.
There’s also this:
Which is the sort of picture quality one might expect from a cell phone image of Robert Downey Jr surreptitiously captured on the D train.
And this:
Which doesn’t really look like any specific kind of food. If you told me it was a plate of Velveeta squares, I’d believe it.