Lambs, rejoice: your fearless leader Mariah Carey has once again found love in a fella named Brett Ratner.
The duo are supposedly carousing around like a couple of well-off lovebirds, doing things that rich people in love do, like lounge on their billionaire friends' yachts, shopping, and holding manicured hands.
But, really: kudos to you, Mimi, who so far has remained mum on whether this romance is actually underway or is merely Internet speculation. Brett seems like a talented, stand up guy, and if nothing else, could serve as creative inspiration for a new album (my inner 11-year old can only hope)?
[TMZ]
Nick Cannon, in the meantime, will not speculate as to whether he's dating model Jessica White—but he did look at the Entertainment Tonight reporter like she was batshit crazy when she asked if his new celebrity twosome nickname might be an awful-sounding "Jick" or "Nessica."
Anyway, here's "Gigolo," which has lived in my iTunes library since 2004-ish, proving that some relationships, like me and my questionable collegiate-era taste in music, truly can withstand the test of time.
But then again, the early '00s was such a good time for music videos, am I right? Either way, Ciara looked different at the Black Girls Rock award show. Maybe it's because she's lost weight or maybe it's her makeup or her super long hair that, okay, maybe I'm kind of jealous of, but something seems...not how it used to be. [Daily Mail]
(Plus "Oh" for good measure, not necessarily for comparison.)
•I'm on a roll with this early oughts' music thing. Remember "Before He Cheats"? That's about as close to liking country music as I've ever gotten. Anyway—meet Carrie Underwood's new baby boy, Isaiah. [People]
•I don't want to make a joke about airports and guns, but Justin Theroux brought his—those of the yummy, appendage variety—to the airport. Because it's not like he could really leave them at home, I guess. [Just Jared]
•...perhaps while en route to marry Jennifer Aniston? [Design & Trend]
•Meanwhile, Jennifer Lopez brought her stems to the Kids' Choice Awards. [Daily Mail]
•I find it hard to believe that Kim Kardashian was denied entrance to just about anyplace she wants, but supposedly the Soho House told her to find another (expensive, socialite-ridden) sandbox to play in. [Radar]
•For once in a long time, Azealia Banks did something that made sense: she told a Fox News commentator to "go suck a dick." [Mediaite]
•Miley Cyrus, d/b/a Madonna. [Metro]
•Will Smith, the Fresh Prince of Newark, New Jersey. [People]
Images via AP