Here are some announcements I’d rather Marco Rubio make besides “I’m running for President.”
- “I love my curves and I’m not ashamed.”
- Taking his talents back to South Beach. (Quitting government, opening cool bar.)
- He’s a werewolf.
- Kickstarter campaign for an app that tells you how much it really costs to fly “discount” airlines by tallying baggage and seat upgrade fees in price quotes.
- Going away forever.
Only 581 days until Election Day!
GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX
Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
