Well, we’re here at a crossroads. This March Madness has been, as predicted, a rough one. “What are we voting for?” cried the confused. “Best? Worst?” Unfortunately for those who want easy answers, this competition was never going to be easy, for it required considering some of the most existential questions of our time: what is real, and what will last?

The offerings were both “good” and “bad”—the horror that was I Wanna Marry Harry, and the beauty that is a pile of manatees—but they were all marvels and fascinations of modern times, and we’ve lost some good ones along the way. So here we are, the final two. We’ve lost Judge Judy, and, shockingly, Seeing Someone Naked For The First Time.

So here we are. What will you choose for the best representation of society at large today: the extreme but very real stance that is Not Being Here To Make Friends (3), or the necessity of modern eating that is Ordering In (5)? What feels more real to you, whether sadly real or just rightly so?

Here’s some reading material to get you started. First, from our good friend Rich Juzwiak.

And next, from our own Clover Hope.


You have 24 hours to vote. Thank you for playing. April is almost here.

Illustration by Jim Cooke.