Man Licks Doorbell

Screenshot: CNN Wire

Of all the things in the world to lick, a doorbell seems the least hygienic, as its one purpose is to be a place where people put their fingers. Fingers are very germy, you see, and now some of those germs live upon the tongue of one man who was caught on a security camera licking a California family’s doorbell.

According to KION News Channel, the aforementioned doorbell licker is one Roberto Daniel Arroyo, 33, who allegedly spent THREE HOURS giving the device a tongue bath in Salinas on Saturday morning. Dave and Sylvia Dungan, who own the now-sullied doorbell and the home it guards, say they spotted Arroyo thanks to their newly-installed security cameras, which alerted them to his movement.

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“I thought, ‘Oh boy, that is just weird,’” fetish-shamer Sylvia Dungan told a local CBS affiliate.

Anyway, nothing weird about this!

Arroyo didn’t attempt to enter the home or cause any serious damage, but he did allegedly pee in the Dungan’s yard. Police say he could be hit with misdemeanor charges for prowling, petty theft, and cursing me with three months of nightmares.

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