Oh my god, I am giving this story about a man with a hairy eyeball THE WORLD'S HAIRIEST EYEBALL award. Hot on the heels of that lady with bone shards growing in her eyelids comes this unfortunate dude with a big, hairy eyeball tumor. And like my grandmama always said, there's only one thing to do if you don't know what to do because someone has hair growing out of his eyeball. GIF PARADE.
In fair This-Dude's-Eyeball, where we lay our scene:
A 19-year-old Iranian man could see an unusually hairy problem.
Don't hold back, Daily Mail. Just let it aaaaaaaaall out.
A rare tumor on his right eyeball sprouted hairs - impairing his vision and causing him discomfort every time he blinked.
The hairy eyeball was the result of a limbal dermoid - skin tissue that can sprout hair, cartilage and even sweat glads [sic].
SWEAT GLADS? MORE LIKE SWEAT SADS!!!!!11!!1!1!!!!1
Doctors had to surgically remove the tumor - which measured 5mm by 6mm - after it began to interfere with the patient's daily life.
I can't imagine how having a lustrous hank of unbraided hair cascading out of your Rapunzeyeball would interfere with your daily life.
The New England Journal of Medicine reported the bizarre medical anomaly after it was submitted by doctors in Tabriz University of Medical Sciences in Tabriz, Iran.
'He did not have pain, but the mass caused vision defects, mild discomfort on blinking, and the intermittent sensation of the presence of a foreign body,' the journal reported.
Hahahaha, "Rapunzeyeball." Self-high-five.
The man said he had been born with the mass, but it had gradually been growing in size.
It had begun impairing his vision - his left eye was 20/20, but his right eye saw only 20/60.
What? That's like a million times better than my shitty vision.
The man said it had also begun to grow more noticeable.
Dr Mark Fromer, director of Fromer Eye Centers in New York City, told LiveScience.com that limbal dermoids are so rare an optometrist is likely to see only one of two cases over the course of a career.
Hooo. Here's Dr. Lindy on Limbal Dermoid Day:
And despite the man's surgery being successful, removal of the hairy eyeball tumor actually led to 'little improvement in visual acuity' because he had a lazy eye and an astigmatism.
It's estimated they affect around 2 in every 10,000 people worldwide and are equally common in men and woman. Most people are aware they have them in childhood, as they tend to appear before the age of 16.
Yep, okay. Okay, I'm out.
Photo credit: Mikko / Stockfresh.