Get your go-go juice ready because Honey Boo Boo may be back on the air sooner than you think. Not content to let Alana to grow up with just a little dignity, TMZ reports that networks may be picking up another Honey Boo Boo show sometime soon…as long as the public can watch Mama June and Chickadee argue about who molested whom.
If this news is true, it’s pretty disgusting. Sure, I’d probably watch a new version of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo which features Alana and her family being rich and having a good time (I love “fish out of water” stories), but, according to TMZ, this show would come at a price. Producers allegedly want Chickadee’s molestation by her mother’s ex to be a story arc on the show and are not interested in the family’s insistence that they’re working everything out in private.
The series, if it runs, and I hope to hell it doesn’t, will also reportedly center around Mama June and Sugarbear getting back together and co-parenting. I could actually see them wanting to do this, but what effect would it have on Alana to have her parents get back together just for reality TV? Is anyone actually thinking of the children here? Because it doesn’t seem like it. You have money, Mama June! Set up a college fund for Alana and move on from this whole TV thing. [TMZ]
Update: TMZ has not revealed whether the show would air on TLC or not, only that “producers” are “shopping it around.”
Michelle Branch is leaving her husband because he wasn’t everywhere to her. Listen, I know I’m reaching, but TMZ already made the inveitable “Goodbye To You” joke. What did you want me to do? [TMZ]
- Vanilla Ice has been arrested for burglarizing a foreclosed home located next to the house he’s renovating for his home improvement television show. What. The. Fuck. [Billboard]
- Kelly Clarkson is now a social pariah. Is nothing good happening to singers I liked in high school anymore or what? [JustJared]
- Miley Cyrus says that she hates shopping on Rodeo Drive because salespeople really do treat the public like they treated Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Yeah, but does she hate saying “big mistake. Huge.” every time she exits a store? I wouldn’t! I’d do it in every store, including a Walgreens if they had one! One time I was in Vegas and kept referring to Versace as Ver-Sase because I am both annoying as fuck and basic as hell and the saleslady put her hand on my shoulder and said “Sir, you and I both know how it’s pronounced. Please stop doing that” and it was like the best moment of my life. [Us]
- Yo, new Missy Elliott. Supa dupa fly! [MTV]
- I feel really bad for Bethenny Frankel. Imagine if your only option to remain in the public eye was to be known for having to fight Ramona Singer on a dying franchise. [E!]
- Tori Amos has re-released her cover of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and it is still amazing. Can you guys believe I once tricked the editors of Jezebel into letting me talk to her as a member of the press? I’m still telling anyone who cares that I’m responsible for Tori’s latest video premiering exclusively on this very website. Does anyone have a time machine? Because I guarantee if we took this news back to 2002 my entire senior class would collectively shit themselves and maybe I wouldn’t be so unpopular. [YouTube]
- Julia Roberts cried in public. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jennifer Garner wants you to STFU about her lips. [Celebitchy]
Tonight’s Dirt Bag is heavy with nostalgia. Can we talk about my favorite video of the 90s?