Former Secretary of State and Brand New Suits Madeleine Albright doesn't get the whole "vote for Mitt Romney" thing, and probably needs one of his many hip, young college-age supporters (no doubt tucking and re-tucking their Oxford shirts into their rain-gutter-cleaning dad jeans in anticipation of casting their votes for Mittens) to ‘splain it to her. It's more or less like this, Madam Secretary: if you think Rowdy Roddy Piper is just a little too rowdy, and really prefer the steady, milquetoast leadership of a skinless extraterrestrial who most definitely wants to restrict women's abortion rights, then Mitt Romney is your guy.
On Monday, Albright told HuffPo's Sam Stein that she simply doesn't understand why any woman would cast her lot in with Romney — the very idea baffles her. "I'm not sure I'm going to state this exactly right," she said as she stated it exactly right, "But I think there are some who believe they are actually protecting women, you know, and that it is better for women to be taken care of." Albright continued,
I think women want to take care of themselves, and I think having a voice in how that is done is very important. And frankly, I don't understand — I mean, I'm obviously a card-carrying Democrat — but I can't understand why any woman would want to vote for Mitt Romney, except maybe Mrs. Romney.
Albright has, according to Stein, served as "an outspoken advocate for women in the workplace," and has been troubled the noisome rhetoric that has been oozing out of the murky sump that is the Republican Party platform. It's all pretty gross, quite frankly, but nothing bothered Albright — who once met the late North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il — quite like Todd Akin's idea of "legitimate" rape, which just further proved to her that Republicans are all actually subjects in an ongoing CIA experiment on the effects of hourly exposure to LSD. She described Akin's comments as "appalling and disgusting," saying that, even though Republicans have tried to get as far away from the fallout as they could, their party platform still sucks:
But if I may say so, the things that he said in one form or another are in the Republican platform. So [while Republicans are] saying he is a nutcase and they have to move away from him, they did not move away from their platform.
Sure didn't! However, Albright doesn't have to fret over too many prospective voters, since Romney, despite the RNC's litany of diverse speakers, still lags really far behind President Obama among female voters.