Macaulay Culkin Says He'll Change His Middle Name to Macaulay Culkin

In November, Macauley Culkin announced that the fans would choose his middle name, all they had to do was vote on his website, Bunny Ears. He said he’d make the adjustment in the new year, leaving “Carson” in the dust.

Well, the media was a bit slow on the uptake, but this Christmas Culkin announced the winning name. It’s Macaulay Culkin. What’s the opposite of a tongue twister?

I say no big deal! Middle names are mostly silent and there to embarrass you on your passport. Sometimes they are meaningful (a grandparent’s first name, your mom’s last name, a beloved pop star), oftentimes not. It really depends.

A hyphenated last name on the other hand would have been bold. That shit sticks to you. Macaulay Macaulay-Culkin-Culkin is something you have to say all of, it’s just grammar. And grammar rules everything around us.

In related news, I leave this blog with a newfound confidence in my ability to spell “Macaulay Culkin.”