Low Necklines, Crisp Whites, and a Buttload of Sparkles at the Golden Globes Afterparties

Ah, the awards show afterparty—where drunk celebrities, having finally consumed food, can change into more comfortable outfits and hit on each other.

There were a few main events following this year’s Golden Globes ceremony: the InStyle party co-hosted by Warner Brothers; the Weinstein Company and Netflix party; and the HBO party. Let’s look at what everyone wore!

Bellamy Young, Rumer Willis, Whitney Port, and Zoe Kravitz all went down the naked route, to varying degrees of success. Bellamy’s look would have appeared less awkward if the slit wasn’t so crotch-y; Rumer looks intense and overdressed; Whitney Port is really surprising me with this mesh thing, also, this is not related, but I wonder who Whitney Port talks to at these things?

Okay, so the only look I really like here is Zoe’s; her boobs are very THERE in a disruptive ‘90s supermodel kind of way, which I think is great and cool.

It’s not an afterparty without MINIS! Charli XCX always manages to look cool in the worst things; Dylan Penn’s odd velvet-y floral number looks not bad with those shoes and a “Don’t ask me about El Chapo” expression; I don’t love Jennifer Lawrence’s mini, but it’s fun and her shoes improved matters; I don’t really know what’s going on with Olivia Palermo’s origami explosion but the whole thing looks pretty physically disabling.

Just as an aside, here’s Kate Hudson posing with her very best friend Elon Musk:

Now for some COLAH! Krysten Ritter nails it in a bright red sheath; Michelle Monaghan made a mistake with this satin number, which appears to be double-sided and she also appears to be wearing satin shoes (on the flip side, she looks very pretty and relaxed!)

I love Phoebe Tonkin’s dress-shoe combination here, it’s absolutely not a traditional January look but does that even matter in L.A.? I don’t know! Black-ish’s Yara Shahidi looks really cute in this pantsuit, although it could have fit her a little bit better.

Oooh, shiny stuff, oooh: Chanel Iman looks regal and perfect; Kourtney Kardashian looks nice, if a little severe; Kylie Jenner looks absolutely ridiculous, I’m sorry, also it kind of looks like that skirt just came out of a musty trunk from 1950, okay, I’m done; Nina Garcia, my personal queen, looks as chill as you can be in something that shiny, although the shoes look a little dated.