Love The Incredibly Insecure One You’re With

By Lane Moore  |  June 4, 2011 | 5:30pm
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Finally, some great news for people who are “anxious-ambivalent”!

According to a new study, you’re much more likely to enjoy being in a relationship with someone who is insecure than you would with someone who is “prone to avoidance”:

“Our results show that insecure people (anxious-ambivalent) tend to be compulsive in their care for their partners, while people prone to avoidance tend to be controlling and to exhibit greater conflict in their sexual desire”, Javier Gómez Zapiain, a professor of the psychology of sexuality at the University of the Basque Country and lead author of the study, tells SINC.

So these anxious and insecure people are more caring partners and more open about their sexual desire? Has anyone told them this? It might limit the whole insecurity thing (which, according to this study, would make them lesser companions, so you should probably not do that):

“The objective of this study was to study the relationship between three essential relationships in human conduct – sexual, affective and caring behaviour. We tried to obtain empirical evidence that harmony between these three systems contributes to the quality of a couple’s relationship”, explains Gómez Zapiain.
The respondents were divided into two large groups according to their affective model – secure and insecure. The insecure people were then subdivided into anxious and ambivalent types.
“Anxious people react by clinging to their partner and caring for them compulsively, while avoidant types react by evading their relationship. Their philosophy is that ‘it’s better not to have than to have and to lose’. These people also have more problems in the area of intimacy”, the researcher explains.

Let me get this straight.

One of the things gleaned from this study is that people who are nervous and insecure want to keep a relationship, so they’re more likely to make the effort to maintain one, but “avoidant” people will (shocker!) “avoid” making any effort to work through any problems that may arise?

You don’t say!

Sarcasm aside, do you feel like having an “insecure” partner is better than having an “avoidant” one? And do you find that relationships can work if one of you is in one camp and one is in another?

But perhaps the more important question is, why are these the only two options provided?

‘Controlling’ partners suffer more conflict with sexual desire [EurekaAlert]

 
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