Love Is Dead: Pete Davidson and Emily Ratajkowski Have Reportedly Moved On With Other People

Bodies Bodies Bodies, indeed.

Model Emily Ratajkowsi and Saturday Night Live alum/notorious BDE-haver Pete Davidson are now in a very hopeless place known as the Friend Zone, Page Six reports, just six weeks after their banging went public. Davidson has recently been “spotted several times with his Bodies Bodies Bodies co-star Chase Sui Wonders, while Ratajkowski was snapped with artist Jack Greer,” according to the outlet.

The model left her husband Sebastian Bear-McClard, with whom she shares baby Sylvester (“Sly”), in July, after he allegedly cheated on her many times. Then she was spotted with a very hot mystery man—who turned out to be DJ Orazio Rispo—before ultimately finding her way to Davidson, just as Jezebel’s own Kylie Cheung jokingly (??) predicted. Now Emrata has been spotted kissing an artist named Jack Greer around NYC, because the spark between her and Pete appears to have died as quickly as it propelled them to the heavily photographed front row at a Knicks game.

Meanwhile, Davidson is moving on with Wonders, with whom he’s been spotted “outside his apartment, shopping together at a Whole Foods in Brooklyn, and at a Rangers game,” per Page Six. Because what else are you going to do with your Bodies Bodies Bodies co-star besides take them to Whole Foods and then have sex with them, never even thinking once about Emily Ratajkowski or Kim Kardashian or any of your other very similar-looking bombshell exes? (Ole Pete appears to have a type.)

Does anyone actually care about this news? Do I even care? Maybe not, but I’ll say this: There’s something inherently fascinating about watching Pete Davidson—a very, um, unassuming comedian—cycle through some of the hottest women in the world faster than I blew through boxes of Kleenex when I had covid a couple weeks ago. If any relevant parties are reading this and have some…personal insight to add about Pete’s talents, my DMs are open.