Neither you, nor I, know most of the actors who attended this year’s BAFTA event in London to celebrate the best and brightest in British TV. Unless you watch tons of it, which, cool. Let’s proceed anyway.

Above you see my new idol, singer-songwriter Sophie Ellis-Bextor, wearing some sort of crystal thing on her head. It’s a thing, for sure, whatever it is. And I desperately want one.

Speaking of best and brightest, this is Camila Batmanghelidjh basically owning the night, wearing what I should ideally be wearing everyday while blogging, in addition to Crocs with charms attached. Yes, if it’s possible for Crocs to be charming, Camila is pulling it off breezily and should be held in the highest regard. This is the definition of unbothered.

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Jennifer Metcalfe looks real excited to be in this lace deep-V that’s missing fabric in the middle (oh no!), Tess Daly’s sheer seems fit for the occasion, and Denise Van Outen has that classy skintimate look.

The fit and cinch on Lucy Mecklenburgh’s gown is near perfection, but Lilah Parsons does not look happy in her dual-tone prom-y dress :/. Mary Berry is fine and dandy, thank you very much.

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Into Dawn Porter’s laser etch, but something about the proportion is off. Vicky McClure’s polka dot flow is on point, and I would also completely wear Anna Passey’s date-night crop top get-up somewhere. Rosie Fortescue, I don’t think this is working.

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Gizzie Erskine’s dress is literally bleeding into the carpet, save her. Red lace is simple and sexy on Kate Garraway, but doesn’t the burgundy on Tallulah Riley wash her out? The gathered look also tends to read old school to me. Overall, the more I look at it, it works.

Nikki Sanderson’s is simple and bright, and I’m into Phoebe Fox’s graphic mod dress, but not for an awards show, though. Whatever, do you. Ahhh, Gemma Jones graduated!

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Catherine Tate is like The Hunger Games’ Girl on Fire all grown up and headed to a luncheon and, surprisingly, I’m not mad at it.

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I totally know all of these people—Pixie Lott, Sheridan Smith, Archie Panjabi and Keeley Hawes. They’re wearing the requisite black award show gowns. Each of these dresses have a distinguishing element (sheer, frills) and none of them wow me.

Dianna Agron, Jess Woodley and Claudia Winkleman are all grouped together here because it feels like they’re attending the Teen Choice Awards.

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Normally, I’d be turned off by Tye-Dye-esque fabric, but I think Orange Is the New Black’s Yael Stone is wearing this well.

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Zawe Ashton has a cool, flattering wavy neck line, and both Laura Whitmore and Ophelia Lovibond just look effortless.

Here for Easter colors and fabrics with an easy flow—Donna Air, Michelle Keegan and Maisey Williams.

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Emma Willis (yes), Davina McCall (sure) and Jessica Wright (nope).

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“Get me outta here!! LOL!”

Can’t see her gown but Charlotte Spencer is completely carefree and wearing a smile. Anne Morrison and Konnie Huq pop in blue, but Huq’s hair is very fresh from the shower.

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I mean, James Norton (left) and my main man Rory Bremner (right) could learn from Freddie Fox’s confidence, which is on a cool 11. Maybe it’s because he’s an actor whose early screen career highlights include roles as singer Marilyn in a biopic about Boy George, King Louis XIII in The Three Musketeers and Edwin Drood in The Mystery of Edwin Drood. I loved all of those, they were great.

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And finally, Sophie McShera, Rochelle Humes, Georgina Campbell and Sunetra Sarker, just like you’re used to seeing them.


Contact the author at clover@jezebel.com.