Looks Like Kelly Ripa Has Been Riding Out Quarantine in the Caribbean—in SECRET!!!

At this point, I assume that if a celebrity or otherwise famous person hasn’t used their social media platform to show just how easy and “fun” it is to stay at home, that they are somewhere other than their home and are just trying to keep it quiet. This seems to be the case for Kelly Ripa, who has been “secretly” riding out the quarantine with her family in the Caribbean.

According to People’s exclusive, breathless report, Ripa and her family were already in the Caribbean on vacation when the shelter in place orders from ABC, Ripa’s employer, came down. “The family was on a trip in the Caribbean when told to shelter in place and decided to stay put,” the source told People. This news was revealed during an ABC virtual town hall:

“We had planned a trip for our family, and it was supposed to be our entire family of course,” Ripa said, according to a source at the town hall who tells PEOPLE. “And we arrive and three days later, the entire world changed, really. I mean, everything shut down; the government shut down; our country shut down. I hate to use the word stuck, but we were. We decided to stay where we were.”

A brief perusal of Ripa’s Instagram reveals that over the course of quarantine, she has assiduously avoided posting any photos that would reveal her location, sticking instead to TBTs and innocuous fan art dedicated to essential workers. Surely Ripa was insulating herself against any shame by not announcing that she was basically on an extended vacation, but it’s somehow more irritating that she’s unfurling this secret now, three months later, after her co-worker, Ryan Seacrest, had to be forced to take time off for “exhaustion.” I don’t know! Whatever!!!

Admittedly, the details of the past three months are dim, but I feel confident that if Kelly Ripa and her family had wanted to come back to New York, they could’ve easily done so? The United States has been allowing its citizens to return from abroad since the pandemic ratcheted up, and while I’m sure the idea of riding out a seemingly-indefinite quarantine in the fucking Caribbean sounded better than her New York City apartment, characterizing her decision to stay wherever the hell she is as being “stuck” is a bit of a stretch! [People]

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Let’s check in on Martha Stewart.

Looks good! She’s making chicken piccata. She’s pounding the chicken breasts. She’s wearing a big earring and a crisp white shirt. “Martha preparing butterflied chicken breasts pounding them for chicken piccata Limone @badgalriri featuring drake @champagnepapi,” the caption reads.

Nothing REALLY to see here, except for the fact that the caption on this Instagram post has changed since it was first shared with me last evening!!!

Please see below:

If memory serves, the original caption read “Martha pounding butterflied chicken breasts wishing she was pounding ????” Stewart also tagged Drake and Rihanna in the caption, perhaps because she was listening to “Work” while putting in work on those chicken breasts, while also thinking about getting some work of her own. Is someone giving Martha the business? Is Martha thinking about dick? My best guess is that her daughter Alexis read the caption, briefly passed out, and texted her mother after she came to, informing her that she was being hornier than normal on main. I’d like to think that Martha had a big pour of Sancerre and took out her sexual frustration on an organic chicken, but the world will never know. [Instagram]

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• Ron Weasley is taking his new baby out for some air. Wotcher. [Hollywood Life]
• I don’t know much about children, but Kristen Bell’s 5-year-old shouldn’t still be in diapers, right? [Us Weekly]
• Mary-Kate Olsen is taking her sadness and her bowl of cigarettes to a $350,000-per-month rental in the Hamptons. [Page Six]
• Feeling stressed at the idea of Michelle Obama with a pixie cut! [Page Six]
• Aunt Becky and the Target Mossimo won’t serve that much jail time, and at this point, please, it’s fine, just go away. [People]