A few months ago, in the middle of an evening blog shift, I decided to splurge on my favorite pasta dish from an Italian restaurant in my neighborhood. I ordered it on Seamless (I know, I know) and was excited to eat it. But unbeknownst to me, my downstairs buzzer was broken, and though the delivery person attempted to call me, my phone was on Do Not Disturb in another room. He drove away with my pasta dish, and I was very sad.
All this is to say that I fully understand Lizzo’s absolute rage at missing a Postmates delivery—Page Six reports that on Monday, she tweeted at the delivery company when her meal didn’t show up. Unfortunately, hanger is blinding, and she also publicly accused the Postmates driver of stealing her food.
Per Page Six:
The “Truth Hurts” rapper, 31, called out both the driver and Postmates on the social medium Monday, writing in a since-deleted tweet, “Hey @Postmates this girl Tiffany W. stole my food. she lucky I don’t fight no more.”
Tiffany W. did not, of course, steal Lizzo’s food, but merely drove away with it after Lizzo failed to respond within a five-minute timeframe. Lizzo wrote a very nice and contrite apology:
It’s tempting to tweet at/about brands when they fuck up, but it’s also not always a great idea, particularly when you have nearly one million followers and someone’s employment and/or safety is at stake. And remember, kids: if you order from a delivery app, always tip in cash. [Page Six]
I am not a fan of Roseanne Barr or the plastic surgery industrial complex, but I respect people’s rights to do what they want to their faces and bodies if they so choose, even if that choice somehow involves modeling oneself after the Kardashians. Still, this, per Page Six, is maaaaaaaaybe too much information for me:
The 66-year-old comedian revealed to “DailyMailTV” that she had her stomach fat transferred to her butt because she was displeased with her assets.
“I have a thing for butts because I never had a butt my whole life and I’ve always felt deprived,” she explained. “When I see these Kardashians and these young women … think, ‘Maybe I could get a butt like that.’”
I mean, OK!
Barr also told the Daily Mail that the Kardashians figure prominently in her upcoming “comedy” tour with Andrew Dice Clay. Dubbed the “Mr. and Mrs. America” tour, Clay and Barr promise to “tell it like it is” and push back on “policing comedians,” and from Barr’s description, it’s going to be exactly what it sounds like:
‘I already have 20 minutes on the Kardashians and their family,’ Roseanne said about her routine. ‘About Caitlyn, her changing. Her sex changes.’