On last night's episode, one father likened his five-year-old daughter's pageant look to that of a hooker. Lexi, the hooker "lookalike" (hookalike?), is actually hooked on sugar, and her grandmother is not only an enabler, but her supplier.

Lexi's dad: the Greek chorus.


People often talk about how children in beauty pageants are sexualized, and while I think that attracting men is not the intention, it is age-inappropriate that one of the attributes of "Little Miss Perfect," as seen in the show's intro, is "flirt."

Speaking of age-appropriate, I don't know what to make of these outfits [clockwise from center: hoochie raver, centaur, Pia Zadora, cheerleader], because they seem just as ridiculous on adults as they do children.

To keep Lexi's energy levels up, her mother—and particularly her grandmother—feed her sugar all day long, until the child is literally bouncing off walls, and then crashes hard.

At least she wowed the judges during Wow Wear and that's what counts.


Particularly because the judges are so bitchy.


Case in point.

But really, how dare this woman throw stones when she lives in an acrylic wig.