“Lionel Richie’s face looks more fake than the clay fan the blind woman was sculpting in his ‘Hello’ video!” one very kind user commented.

“Lionel Richie has really messed up his face….why do these people do that to themselves? They never look any younger they just look odd,” another said.

But the singer swore to the Daily Mail that he has never—and would never—consider plastic surgery because “that shit goes wrong!” “[Plastic surgery] locks you in for that year [while you recover] and after that, you can’t go naturally, you’re staying right there…You try and go back to reset, and you can’t,” Richie said.

His real secret to looking like a spritely little firecracker onstage? Water, sleep, sweat, not “too much red meat,” and...sex.

“I know it’s real boring. [Sex] will work also, and it’s good for your heart,” he clarified. This from a man who has been dating 33-year-old model Lisa Parigi for more than a decade, which means he began dating her when she was in her early twenties, which is younger than his youngest daughter, Sofia Richie, is now (she’s 24 years old).

Thank you, Lionel, for the really great medical advice that I’d never thought of before—and for gifting us the lovely mental image of you getting your, um, daily exercise on with someone less than half your age. Rock on, I guess.

• Kim Kardashian is basically a groupie for…the Lakers? [TMZ]
• Amber Heard was spotted on a run in Spain on the one-year anniversary of the Depp trial decision. Live your damn life, baby! [People]
• Robert De Niro says he’s not “surprised” he had a baby at the ripe old age of 79. Must be nice. [Page Six]
• Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star Jen Shah was spotted in her prison uniform for the first time since her incarceration. I cannot lie to you, she looks kind of Mother? [Page Six]
• A source says Gisele Bündchen “has been sad about the end” of her marriage to Tom Brady, but “at the same time is excited for her future.” Thank you, Captain Obvious. [Us Weekly]