As if Lindsay Lohan's life were not difficult enough, she reportedly got pranked while doing her community service at the morgue. According to a "morgue insider" (what a prestigious position!), some mischievous coworkers put a bloodied rubber hand in one of the trash cans, and when poor Linds emptied it, it bounced out onto the floor and she flipped out—as anyone would! After they told her it was all a joke, she was extremely pissed, but her coworkers think she deserved it since, according to one of them, she's not too nice on the job.
Lindsay has a real attitude—always acting like she's better than anyone else and spending much of her time taking cigarette breaks. She speaks to no one unless she has to, and mopes through the work she's assigned.
Maybe if someone would just, you know, extend a hand to her in friendship…nevermind. [National Enquirer]
Even though she swore she was done with hosting and sent herself off with a final episode that was kind of a religious experience, Oprah Winfrey is crawling back onto our TV screens. In a desperate bid to save her rapidly disintegrating network, OWN, she'll host a new show on it beginning in January. It will be called Oprah's Next Chapter, and like all sequels to blockbusters, it sounds serviceable but not very original. She'll visit Steven Tyler at his house in New Hampshire. (Will we get to see him without his teeth? If so, sign me up!) She's going to Haiti with Sean Penn, and she's even going to have a slumber party with Paula Deen, where one hopes they will eat sticks of pure butter instead of the usual sleepover staple, cookie dough. Get ready, Amerricaaaaaaa for more OP-RAH WIN-FREEEEEEEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Radar]
Prince Harry continues to live it up, American-style! On Friday, he hopped on a Harley-Davidson motorcycle and took off across the desert in Arizona. He looks like he's having quite an Easy Rider moment, although that helmet does look kind of goofy on him. [Daily Mail]
Then on Saturday he hit a club in Las Vegas where he locked his royal laser beam onto one blonde lady in particular, and then things got the way they usually do at a club:
The prince was seen chatting her up on a red couch and he later danced seductively with her, with his hands around her waist and zero daylight visible between their bodies.
But don't worry, they're not going to get married just yet since they didn't leave together. [People]
Vanessa Minnillo has taken her husband Nick Lachey's name, and now she's made it official in the most official way possible, by changing her Twitter handle. She tweeted, "So.... I'm making it official, and I LOVE my "new name"! @VanessaLachey.... has a nice ring to it ;-)" Let us hope that @VanessaLachey never faces the difficult situation @mrskutcher now finds herself in. [Huffington Post]
Justin Bieber is growing up before our very eyes. This week he attended a charity gala for Pencils of Promise, where he displayed a healthy amount of peach fuzz-which, frankly, was almost bordering on a wispy moustache. Doesn't he have a team of people devoted solely to managing his body hair that could have prevented this awkward teen moment? [ONTD]
Kim Kardashian may not be a favorite with the public right now, but that didn't stop Khloe and Kourtney from promoting the book they co-wrote with their commitment-phobic sister. The book, Dollhouse, is a novel which tells the story of three sisters whose names begin with a K and live in Los Angeles. How original! And obviously it has a leopard skin cover, as all high quality literature does. [Daily Mail]
Mila Kunis went to a Marine Corps Ball last night with Sgt. Scott Moore, who asked her to be his date via YouTube this summer after her came back from seven months of fighting in Afghanistan. [E! Online]
According to Jack Wagner, he and Heather Locklear broke off their engagement because "wedding plans became so all-consuming, they had little or no time to spend with their respective kids." It seems like there would be ways around that problem, like eloping, if you really wanted to make it work, but they were also hesitant to bring their kids together into one family. So maybe this is for the best. [TMZ]
Celebrities: they're just like us! In this case, Jennifer Love-Hewitt went to Pinkberry in sweats and no make-up to drown her sorrows after reportedly breaking up with boyfriend Jarod Einsohn. [Daily Mail]
Speaking of Party of Five stars, police want to talk to Jeremy London about a phone call they got from his girlfriend saying he had assaulted her. The 39-year-old actor, who's had his share of trouble in the past, denies the allegations. [ONTD]
Professional reality weirdo Tareq Salahi is suing his estranged wife Michaele and her boyfriend Neil Schon from Journey for an eye-popping 17 million dollars. The money is to compensate him for all of the humiliation he's suffered from their affair and also for a reality show deal that he lost after she left him. [TMZ]
Robin Gibb, singer for the Bee Gees, is in the hospital suffering from liver cancer. The 61-year-old, who was diagnosed a few months ago, is reportedly not in good condition but is surrounded by his family. [New York Post]