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Life Force Energy Diet Helps You Lose Weight The Crazy Way

Illustration for article titled Life Force Energy Diet Helps You Lose Weight The Crazy Way

Looking for a way to drop a few pounds and act like a total weirdo in the process? Try a new diet wherein you only eat after sundown, and subsist the rest of the time on pure, unadulterated crazy.

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This month's Marie Claire decided to look into "What Nutritionists Really Eat." Turns out: weird shit! Here's New York-based trainer Natalia Rose's food (or non-food) philosophy:

Instead of being bogged down by your meal, you should be elevated by it. I don't use food mindlessly as a social pastime or something to do when I'm bored. It's spiritual, and truly part of a holistic lifestyle. I believe that we take our vitality predominantly from the air, sunlight, and clean water, so I don't take anything but this 'life force energy' until the sun goes down, then I enjoy nutrient-rich foods — along with others that are less so but that I enjoy anyway! Of course there are fun things to eat. But most people eat to escape their lives. A lot of us don't realize that we don't need to do things the normal way.

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Nope, you can also do things the insane way. Rose's daily diet:

BREAKFAST

* Lemon tea with fresh, raw grated ginger, a squeeze of lemon, and Stevia to taste (a natural, calorie-free sweetener), 24 fl oz - 3 calories*

* Mountain Valley Spring Water, 16 fl oz - 0 calories

LUNCH

* Nothing

DINNER

* One small watermelon - 230 calories

* Two cantaloupes - 376 calories

* Two bananas - 200 calories

* Smoothie (pineapple, avocado, kale, alfalfa sprouts, coconut water, mint) - 366 calories

DESSERT

* Box of Salud macaroons, 4.5 oz - 604 calories

This diet seems like it would cause you to "escape life" — and soon! At least Rose also points out that subsisting on "life force energy" isn't for beginners — no doubt learning to photosynthesize takes practice. Once you've mastered that, though, you can move to the bottom of the ocean and eat only sulfur, like certain bacteria. I hear they're really skinny.

What Nutritionists Really Eat [Marie Claire]

Image via INSAGO/Shutterstock.com

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DISCUSSION

meritxell
meritxell: an erotic life

Ahahaha, aahuhuhuhuahahehar, okay, sure. First of all, there's no beer in that "diet", so your argument is invalid. Second of all, that sounds HELLA sugary. Sure, you could probably lose weight subsisting on Pixi Stix, but that would be fucking gross, which is why nobody over the age of 8 does that. Third, absolutely nothing on that list sounds appetizing in the least, with the sole exception of maybe the avocado. It is SO SWEET! Nothing savory, nothing protein-y, nothing ... green? I'm sure her colon thanks her? I would be farting like a bastard if all I ate were fucking fruit.

This is just like the Romy and Michelle candy corns diet you guys. That can't be good.