Proving that the Johnston/Palin clan is gunning for their own version of Teen Mom, Levi has allegedly impregnated another Wasilla lass.
Yes, Levi's ex Lanesia Garcia is with child, and she thinks the baby-daddy might be Mr. Johnston. According to the Enquirer, Garcia and Johnston enjoyed a brief reunion while he and Bristol were estranged. Now Garcia awaits a paternity test — says a source, "She's extremely embarrassed she doesn't know who the father is." It probably can't help that Garcia — who was apparently bffs with Bristol in those innocent, pre-Brevi years — now sees her name plastered all over tabloids beneath headlines like "PALIN FURY: BY LEVI BETRAYED!"
Pretty much every media outlet is also making the don't-they-have-condoms-in-Alaska joke (also: haha Johnston), but the winner for most unnecessary description of Garcia goes to PopCrunch, which calls her "Wasilla Latina Lanesia Garcia." Garcia's race seems irrelevant here — except that maybe when Sarah Palin's "FURY" dies down she can embrace her step-grandchild, and stop relying on Todd's Yu'pik blood* to prove she cares about people of color. If, that is, the wedding's still on. Talk to us, Brevi.
*
By the way, did you know Todd Palin's great-grandfather was named Glass Eye Billy Bartman? How come they didn't name any of the Palin kids that? Bristol, it's on you.
Palin Fury: By Levi Betrayed! [National Enquirer]
Lanesia Garcia: Levi Johnston's Paternity Scandal? [Right Celebrity]
Levi Johnston Expecting LoveChild With Lanesia Garcia? [PopCrunch]
DISCUSSION
Not gonna lie, I would probably want to bang Levi if I were a teenage girl. But I would use condoms and birth control and make him pull out. And then take Plan B.