Were certain revelations just made in an extremely manufactured feud between two of the most famous celebrities on our planet? Frankly, who could say! I didn’t know such a feud existed, let alone meticulously tracked its minutia. What I can say for certain, however, is that Kim Kardashian struggled to get dressed on national television this weekend.
In a “sneak peek” of Keeping Up With the Kardashians—which dropped on the exact same day everyone started gossiping about some “feud” I’d never heard of before—Kim Kardashian struggles to get dressed in Balmain at Paris Fashion Week. Riveting!
The outfit, an unfortunately colored latex two-piece, took a team of at least 10,000 assistants to slip it onto Kim. At one point, she informs the small army gathered in her hotel room: “I think I pulled a muscle in my shoulder.” Riveting!
Again, I cannot stress enough how little I heard about any supposed feud this weekend. If you asked me about a feud and how many publicists it took to co-ordinate a leaked phone call and this sneak peek, I frankly wouldn’t know a thing! All I’m thinking about is how her bodysuit and diarrhea have the same color story. [People]
Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, former Bachelorette and tabloid hanger-on Hannah Brown shared some advice for surviving the coronavirus pandemic with her Instagram followers—smiling some more!
Generally, one should never tell strangers—let alone people on the internet—to smile. At the least, they’ll get called a dweeb, and the worst, a creep. But in the middle, between those extremes, is a whole lot of snarky blogs and comments about how clueless anyone who advocates for “smileing” sounds. Just learn from Brown’s mistake!
The photo would have probably slipped into the abyss of influencerdom had she not added, “Just trying to spread some love here rather than fear, not making light of the situation 🙏🏼.” Instead, you’re reading a snarky blog! (Who informed Bachelorette contestants their job is to “spread love?”)
Anyway, do you think she and Tyler Cameron plotted this “controversy” while isolated together in Florida? The lack of public exposure is probably melting many brains in the Bachelor extended universe, and it would explain their strange sabbatical at a beach house in Florida. After multiple failed attempts at love with various Instagram personalities on a reality TV show, what else is there for these two to do but achieve mild notoriety together?
Godspeed to them, and I hope they find whatever it is they are looking for!
Here’s what Madonna is doing: