About six months ago, the apartment I was living in at the time got robbed. Today, a detective called to tell me there'd been a DNA hit in the case — the burglar, besides being a burglar, also took a healthy swig out of my lemonade carton. That's rude.
The detective also sent over a mugshot of the person whose DNA was found on my lemonade carton. He's in jail for something else currently. Thieving picnic baskets, is my guess.
Obviously I don't know yet if he's actually the person who took my shit, but I allege that he's committing several crimes against fashion here.
Can you tell me:
Bicycles? People on bicycles?
If so, that's actually kinda cool.
One is the worst. Five means you should wear that shirt out of the house, in front of your friends, to meet your girlfriend's family, etc.
I'm not mad anymore, I just want answers. Answers about that shirt.