Let's Talk About How Kanye Wants to Dip Kim's Ass in Gold

Future and Kanye have been collaborating on a new single, “I Won,” and the pair just dropped the video. It’s a combination of homage to their respective significant others and also long, lingering shots of sandy, bathing-suit-clad babes. It’s weird.

On the one hand, the video could’ve been created explicitly for Kim and Kanye’s wedding reception, as a very expensive D.I.Y. gift from Future and Ciara. The whole song is an ode to “the perfect one,” the woman who makes Future feel like he’s “won me a trophy.” It’s a little raunchy, sure, but it’s still very close to something you’d see under “weddings” on Pinterest.

Then Kanye (who doesn’t look very comfortable at the beach, tbh) jumps in with what is very clearly an ode to Kim: “I wanna dip that ass in gold, I wanna dip that ass in gold, I made it over NBA, NFL players, s0 every time I score it’s like the Super Bowl, baby we should hit the south of France, so you could run around them pants, I put that glacier on your little hand.”

He later references her sisters by name, so it’s pretty clear he’s talking about Nori’s mama. Not clear: Are we talking like Goldfinger-style body paint, or a cast of Kim’s butt? Will Kim and Kanye be decorating the foyer of their new home with a solid-gold cast of Kim’s butt? Actually, bronze seems better. Did they put a bronze cast of Kim’s butt on their registry? Inquiring minds want to know!

And yet, so much of the video (almost all, in fact) is ladies who are distinctly NOT Kim and Ciara writhing around in the sand. According to MTV, Future summed the video up as: “We on the water, on the beach, and it’s beautiful women,” adding that, “We made [them] look like the old Hype Williams’ video girls. You know when video girls were stars back then. Video vixens, you really got them from the Hype Williams videos.” (Williams directed the video.)

Not really sure anyone was really clamoring for that, but hey, it’s not my Valentine. ¯_(ツ)_/¯