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Let's Take (Another) Trip Through Mariah Carey's Closet

Here we are again, inside Mariah Carey’s closet, There is no place I would rather be.

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Courtesy of Vogue, here’s Mariah Carey taking a slow walk through her massive, ridiculous closet, which looks to be roughly the size of an apartment. What’s fun about this? Everything. Here are some fun facts: She has a lingerie closet; She prefers to wear lingerie around the house; when she was pregnant, she only wore Adidas slides; she is speaking slowly in a way that makes me concerned about her well-being.

Does this remind you of something? Have you seen this before, but better, more unhinged, more...legendary?

Hmm. Yeah. Thought so.

Mariah Carey also owns Marilyn Monroe’s piano and a compact of Marilyn’s that she won in an auction? You’d think such a priceless artifact would be kept safe and sound, but Mariah slides it out of a battered manila envelope while a retinue of hairdressers tend to her beach waves. Floyd Mayweather gave her a Birkin. Isn’t that nice?

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“I’m not as casual as most people, but I guess I could be,” Mariah Carey says as the camera pans over her manicured hand holding a monogrammed Champagne flute (same). I feel confident that she really thinks that, but I’m pretty sure that even if she tried, she could not be as casual as most.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

That’s some aggressive neck contouring. It’s almost distracting, like a neck beard. But still can’t hold a candle to those painted abs.