Let's Take a Gander at Phil Collins's Messy-Ass Divorce Proceedings

Illustration for article titled Lets Take a Gander at Phil Collinss Messy-Ass Divorce Proceedings
Image: ERWIN SCHERIAU / APA / AFP (Getty Images)

Phil Collins, father of Lily and drummer extraordinaire, is in the middle of a messy divorce from his ex-wife Orianne Cevey. When we last had a look-see at what was going on with this man, his ex-wife had barricaded herself inside their Miami home and staffed the property with four armed guards. That certainly seems like a lot, but what I think is arguably worse are the new claims made against Collins. I can’t possibly do any better than this very low-hanging fruit of a joke from Page Six, so I’ll let them take it away: “There is indeed something ‘in the air tonight.’ And it might be Phil Collins’ BO, according to his ex.”

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In new papers filed in court in Miami on Monday, Cevey alleged that Collins became a “hermit” who did not shower or brush his teeth for months. She also alleged that Collins developed an addiction to prescription painkillers and was often so impaired that he would fall down, injure himself, and then check himself into the hospital under a different name. Mmm, and she also said this:

The papers even say he has “collapsed on stage when performing because he was so impaired he could not stand up.”

She also claimed that by 2019, Collins “became increasingly depressed, withdrawn, abusive and following an operation on his back, increasingly addicted to antidepressants and painkillers.”

“He was incapable of having sex,” the papers claim, “He stopped showering, brushing his teeth and dressing properly (in fact, he did not shower or brush his teeth from 2019 until August 2020 when he vacated)” their home.

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Naturally, Collins has denied all of these claims through his legal team, which is suing Bailey for allegedly staging an “armed occupation” of his Miami mansion. “These allegations are included only to further defendants’ plan to deliberately make sensationalized and/or false allegations in an effort to extort money from… Phil Collins,” the motion read. OK. I haven’t thought this much about Phil Collins, hm, ever, in my life, but I’m sure that whatever is going in that house is none of anyone’s business, including mine. [Page Six]


Here’s a dispatch from another man I don’t think about that often, Ryan Seacrest.

There’s something deeply embarrassing about Instagramming a screenshot of a tweet; when regular people do it, I sort of get it, even though I think Twitter is a scourge and clout-chasing on the ‘gram for Twitter engagement is mortifying. When celebrities, who arguably have a larger audience than a normal person looking for the small ding of dopamine, do shit like this, I feel sad. But here we are. I’m sad, and Ryan Seacrest is looking for an answer from Mariah Carey. Thankfully, he got one from her and also from Jennifer Lopez, who was not involved in the first place, but that’s fine.

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Yes! Okay! Dissent! Personally, even though it’s been unseasonably warm in New York City, I’m about to buy a fake Christmas tree and string some lights up on that bitch before Thankgsiving hits, but everyone do you. [Instagram]

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  • One man and then another, different man enjoyed some time on the beach! [People]
  • Oy, OK, sure, good for Teresa Giudice. [Hollywood Life]
  • Here’s why Kristen Bell won’t show her kids’ faces on the socials. [Just Jared]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

The tone of this article is baffling and the content is a mess.

She’s called Cevey, not Bailey. They’ve been divorced since 2008 and had a record at the time settlement of 46 millions $. I’ve never even listened to a Phil Collins record but I learned all that in five minutes:

https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2020/10/phil-collins-ex-wife-orianne-cevey-20-million-payout-vacate-mansion

And so the tone: Bailey left Collins, remaried during the summer and is now occupying one of Collins’ houses with armed guards. She’s hired three different lawyers in four days. And her main reason for this is that allegedly after an operation Collins suffered from severe depression and painkillers addiction.

How is Phil Collins the bad guy here?