Taylor Swift has a lot of famous friends and girlfriend aims high too. Taylor’s squad consists of supermodels, Oscar nominees and a Penn State grad. What I’ve noticed, however, is a glaring lack of black people in her posse.
To be fair, she is friends with Demetria Lovato and Selena Gomez—so word up to my Latinas—but I’d like to round out this friendship rainbow with a bit more color. Now, I’M NOT SAYING THAT TAYLOR SWIFT IS RACIST. I’m just saying that she’s tiptoeing along the line of becoming like the three quarters of white Americans who don’t have a single non-white friend.
Luckily, I can help remedy that. I would like to find Taylor Swift a black friend or two because I hear that it’s benevolent acts like this that get you into heaven and I’m trying to chill with Oprah in the afterlife.
Not just anybody can be Taylor Swift’s first black friend. We need to find the Jackie Robinson of black friends, so let’s go through some questions that potential candidates will need to answer to my satisfaction:
How do you feel about listening to her music?
Before anyone gets too excited, this has little to do with race and is more about the fact that her music, to many adults with ears, is annoying. I’m not personally a fan, but I can understand the appeal because I am able to hold two conflicting thoughts in my brain without depleting neurons.
That being said, you’ll have to listen to her music a lot—recording sessions, backstage at concerts and for some reason I imagine Taylor Swift plays her own music a lot when she’s just hanging out. Although, Taylor is a Kendrick Lamar fan, so maybe you can introduce her to the rest of the TDE crew because as black-ish taught us, all black people know each other.
Are you comfortable with/do you have the patience to explain stuff to her?
Perhaps Taylor Swift is incredibly fluent in black culture and issues that surround black people despite the fact that I’ve never seen her in public hanging out with any black people. Maybe she sits around all day going back and forth between The Root and Media Takeout. Who knows? But I’m going to err on the side of probably not.
Lena Dunham has, it seems, singlehandedly turned Taylor Swift into a feminist. She went from spouting all that “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women” idiocy to finally being able to stomach saying the words “I” and “feminist” in the same sentence.
You have to do to her what Lena Dunham did but with race. Long story short: I expect to hear Taylor Swift critiquing the prison-industrial complex within four to sixth months from the start of your friendship.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
