Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Let's Check in on the Kardashians’ New Business Ventures

They're getting their fucking asses up and working.

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Let’s take a breather from celebrity drama and pivot to something that is actually important: celebrity business ventures. Kim might regret ranting that “nobody wants to work these days,” but you can’t deny that few people are putting their personal brands to work like the Kardashians. Kudos, Kris.

Kim, rejuvenated by her brief liaison with Pete Davidson, is exploring the outer limits of where the Kardashian name can take her. Along with voicing a new Paw Patrol movie, recording a true crime podcast, and acting as Chief Taste Consultant for Beyond Meat, Kim is launching a private equity firm. SKYY, the firm she’s co-founded with former Carlyle Group executive Jay Sammons, plans to invest in digital commerce and media, consumer products, hospitality, luxury, and entertainment businesses. Maybe SKYY will own G/O Media (Jezebel’s parent company) in a few years! Literally who knows?!

According to a 52-page report by Sequoia Capital, right now is a pretty bad time to launch and create a company, let alone invest in businesses. But Kim is a fighter; she’s a dreamer; she’s a bunch of other girl-boss platitudes, and Wall Street naysayers aren’t going to slow her roll. Kris Jenner, also one to never take “no” for an answer, will also be a partner in the venture. The plan is for Sammons to run the day to day business of the firm, and Kim will sort of just lend her name and social media following to the endeavor.

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Now, let’s hop in the private jet and head to wherever Kourtney Kardashian is. Ah, found her! And she’s got a new title: sustainability ambassador for the e-commerce brand Boohoo. Boohoo, you might recall, was the subject of a devastating investigative piece by The Sunday Times in 2020, which referred to its practices as “modern slavery.” But don’t worry, the company has since released a “Modern Slavery Statement” (incredible absence of PR work there) that basically says they’re trying to no longer embody that description. Boohoo is also under investigation by the British government about its “green” claims and sustainability practices. Kourtney admitted in a statement that she was at first skeptical of Boohoo’s practices but got on board after having an “enlightening experience speaking directly with industry experts.” Sooo...maybe British government investigators should just try to have an “enlightening experience” speaking directly with industry experts??

Kourtney’s ambassadorship doesn’t do anything as practical as cooperating with the government’s investigation, but it will result in a line of 46 limited-edition pieces made of recycled fabrics, along with vintage-style leather jackets. But before you pop a bottle of Champagne with Greta Thunberg to celebrate this #greenvictory, this “sustainable” partnership does nothing to address the reported 3,000 weekly styles the retailer is known for cranking out at extremely low prices. Boohoo is just putting a greenwashed bandaid over a gaping, bloody booboo, if you will.

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The ambassadorship also includes cataloging Kourt’s sustainable fashion journey on Boohoo’s Youtube in a series creatively titled “Kourtney Kardashian Barker’s Sustainable Fashion Journey. ”

Kourtney Kardashian Barker’s Sustainable Fashion Journey - Exclusive! | Episode #1 | boohoo

She manages to explain about 14 times that she’s excited to ask questions about how to live more sustainably and yet none of the featured experts appear to give any answers like “don’t support fast fashion” or “don’t fly private.” Instead, they say things like, “What’s challenging is figuring out how people can still live in this way where it is simple and easy and fast and fun but it doesn’t have a negative impact on people and the planet.” (I’d argue that in order to minimize that negative impact, you have to be able to sacrifice at least one of those things— simplicity, ease, speed, or fun—but uh, I guess I’m not an expert?) Kourtney plays her part as the uninformed but well-intentioned every woman.

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The sisters are, it seems, in sync yet again. Kim, in her Interview Magazine Q&A earlier this week, spoke about the monumental challenge of living more sustainably, saying she really wants to make the planet a more habitable place, while basically admitting that she refuses to alter her behavior in any way that might help. But what do I expect from the Kardashians when it comes to climate solutions? Not much more than thoughts, prayers, and a 46-piece limited edition fashion collection.