Lana Del Rey, Please Wear a REAL Mask Next Time

Illustration for article titled Lana Del Rey, Please Wear a REAL Mask Next Time
Image: Robin Marchant (Getty Images)

It has somehow slipped my mind that the husky-voiced chanteuse from Lake Placid, one Mrs. Lana Del Rey, has a new book of poetry; perhaps I have been thinking of other things. Regardless, that book is on its way whether you like it or not, and Lana Del Rey is out here trying to promote it. Instead of, I don’t know, doing a Zoom with 323 fans, she did a “surprise” visit to a bookstore instead and showed up in a mask that is very much for glamour purposes and not much else. Ma’am, please... I know you were dating a cop or whatever, but can you PLEASE not do this?


The mask in question is an appropriate mask for any sort of coronavirus sexual fantasy you might have up. your sleeve, as it looks good but is also made entirely of rhinestone-studded mesh, which is not what the CDC recommends.

Again... this is not the kind of mask you are supposed to wear when you are out and about doing your errands or, in Lana’s case, meeting and greeting a bunch of strangers at a Barnes & Noble in the Grove. Many people felt compelled to call her out for wearing a mask that is not actually protective, and I have to agree with everyone. I do not agree with Lana’s sister, Caroline, who defended this choice by saying to the press that Lana had “tested negative” and was “more than six feet away” from the people she was meeting and greeting.

Respectfully, ma’am, I’m sure at least one of those things is true, but why would or should the general public trust anyone, especially a famous person? I don’t know? There was a super-spreader event at the fucking White House? Can we all (metaphorically) shake hands and agree to just WEAR a mask that COVERS THE MOUTH AND NOSE? Find a nice mask that you like, and just commit to wearing it every time you leave the home, Lana Del Rey. Please. Put something under the fishnet, if you can’t give up the fashion. I don’t care what you do, you are famous and have money, so figure it the fuck out! [Page Six]

Hm! Who else is being bad about general personal safety during this ongoing pandemic? Ah yes, of course, Teresa Giudice, whose angel daughter Gabriella celebrated her sweet 16 at a hotel in Manhattan, with a bunch of guests, indoors, not wearing masks. Okay!!


Teresa posted a video on Instagram of a bunch of teens singing “Happy Birthday” in an enclosed inside space, while not wearing masks, but has taken the video down after a bunch of people called her out for, uh, you know, doing that which we are not supposed to do at this time. Maybe everyone involved got tested prior to entry! Maybe the Giudice circle has a secret vaccine. Or, maybe not a single solitary person is THINKING OR USING THEIR BRAIN when they do stuff, especially if they are a B-list celebrity who lives for the adoration of fans If Teresa Giudice sat down and had a think for just five minutes, she MIGHT realize that it is not a good idea to post content of what could also be another super-spreader event, and that if she’s going to do this stuff in general, it’s best to do it in secret.... hello....

Anyway, I didn’t know which one Gabriella was, as I only have space in my heart and mind for the dreaded Milania and Gia, so here’s a picture of Gabriella and her mother.


Who??? Is?? This woman?? [Us Weekly]

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Senior Writer, Jezebel



This just pooped up on my feed:*

*planned on correcting the typo, but on second-thought decided not to against it... it seemed apropos.