Lady Gaga Is Bad at Twitter, for Science!

Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga
Image: Getty Images

Lady Gaga has always been ahead of the curve. Sure, in the past she may have borrowed some of her references from other people in the industry. Most notably, she may have even stolen a haircut from one of Jezebel’s own staff members. However, as she’s wont to say and I’m wont to repat after a couple glasses of wine, she’s talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, etc., etc., etc. And, although that particular quote might have been in reference to Ryan Murphy, in a new interview with InStyle magazine, she’s letting everyone know that she too, is a step ahead of the rest of us.

Every so often she’ll log on and tweet random things like the letter “f” or “I don’t remember Artpop” (her third album). What gives? “I’m trying to crack the code that is the algorithm of the Internet, and I will do so in various ways,” she says. “You may not always understand why an ‘f’ tweet gets that many likes. Who knows why? It was just a social experiment. I’m trying to understand people.”

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When I went to search for the “f” tweet on Twitter, I was honestly unsurprised to find that I’d already liked it. However, I probably just assumed that at the time she’d lost her phone in her purse and had randomly sent out a single letter into the universe. Clearly, I was blithely unaware of the fact that I was playing right into her hands, as she was gathering the data with which she will crack the code that is the algorithm of the internet! I do, with devastating accuracy, remember the “I don’t remember Artpop” tweet, because it was a terrible blow to those of us who’ve spent the better part of the last seven years yelling at everyone about how it’s just misunderstood. For what it’s worth, it is just misunderstood!

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Of course, her social media savvy isn’t the only thing Gaga discussed with the mag. She also dove into the topic of motherhood, her being Mother Monster after all:

“I will say I am very excited to have kids,” Gaga admits. “I look forward to being a mom. Isn’t it incredible what we can do? We can hold a human inside and grow it. Then it comes out, and it’s our job to keep it alive. It’s so funny — everyone works out of my house every day. When they come in, I always say, ‘Welcome to the Womb!’”

Sad to see that she doesn’t consider me, personally, to already be one of her children, but I guess that’s fair considering she doesn’t actually know who I am. I do love it when celebrities, Gaga, in particular, get cerebral-ish about childbirth. Like, yes, you’re incubating a little thing and then you just have to keep taking care of it when it’s ready to come out. How novel! Once I can have people over again though, I’m now considering opening the door and shouting “Welcome to the womb!”

My favorite quote from the interview came not from Gaga herself, but from Nicola Formichetti, her friend and former stylist who she’s brought back on board for this next era in her music. He’s moved from New York to LA to be close to her and is working on bringing back some of the fashions that helped Gaga become who she is.

“The idea of these groups continues throughout the album cycle,” he says, citing Gaga’s “punk-rock core.” He’s also digging into the archives to unearth some familiar pieces and make them anew: “I want to bring back the sex and the edginess of her with materials like latex and leather and spikes and studs and mix them with couture.”

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There are horrible pictures of me that exist somewhere online wearing a terrible interpretation of one of the looks Formichetti created for Gaga during the Fame Monster era, and, honestly, I can’t wait to dig back into a craft drawer and make an equally embarrassing replication of whatever he’s got in store for Gaga next. In the meantime, maybe I’ll try my hand at tweeting out random letters on the internet and seeing if I can’t assist in trying to crack this giant code Gaga’s been working on.

freelance writer living in San Francisco. Please clap.

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“There can be 100 people in the room, and 99 don’t believe you, but all it takes is f and that was him.”