At some point in the past week, many people decided that the real father of Kylie Jenner’s very adorable and chubby-cheeked baby Stormi was not Travis Scott, but her extremely hot security detail Tim Chung.
According to TMZ’s “Kylie sources”—Kris Jenner, obviously, right?—these rumors are absolutely false and Tim Chung is not the father of her precious child. The father is Travis Scott. In fact, it is “humanly impossible” for Chung to be the father of Kylie’s baby because, according to those very same Kylie sources, Chung has never had sex with Kylie. Personally, I appreciate the lesson on how sex works, but others were not so sure.
The baby looks like a baby, and Tim Chung, I’m very sorry to say, looks like a fucking snack.
Lock me up!!
Also, the father of the child is definitely not Tyga... Nope! Not his baby. It’s NOT!!
I’m not not worried about Luann de Lesseps’s well-being, post arrest and post-brief blackface Diana Ross Halloween costume scandal, but I am glad to know that, in the grand scheme of things, she’s fine.
Her cabaret show has saved her from despair! Performance, darling! #CountessAndFriends!
“I’ve sunk my teeth into it, and really, creatively, gotten into it,” she continued. “I talk about what happened to me in the show. There’s a lot of comedy in the show. There’s a lot of self-deprecation because, look, I hit a wall. I’m not ashamed to say it. And I talk about that in the show. I talk about a lot of things. It’s like a window into my life and a window into music that I love.”
Other fun facts: Tom D’Agostino reached out to her after her arrest and her children are being supportive. As stated—she’s fine! She’ll always be fine.
I’d love to pivot BACK to the theatre, darling, which has saved her life, like it has many others. What a treat it would be to watch Luann gamely shimmy her way through life’s hardships, belting through gritted teeth and grinning. Life is indeed a cabaret, old chums, and I love a cabaret!!!!!!
- Did you remember somewhere deep in the back of your brain that Brad Pitt and Melissa Etheridge were friends? Seems like they did too, as they have not spoken in 15 years. [Us Weekly]
- Please find me the photos of Anne Hathaway’s “full-blown photo shoot” at the Met Gala, thanks! [Page Six]
- More Met Gala dribbles: there were undercover detectives roaming about to make sure celebrities didn’t smoke in the bathrooms. [Page Six]
- A last drib: Miley Cyrus wasn’t feeling well because she was very hungover and then “ate Indian food.” [Page Six]
- This bih!! And the other!! PLEASE STOP OK BYE. [Us Weekly]