On a panel about technology and culture at Cannes, Kanye West gave an elaborate account of all the work that went into Instagramming that wedding photo of himself and Kim Kardashian: 4 days of ceaseless toil, plus goddess only knows what filter. No one said that being part of the #WorldsMostTalkedAboutCouple was easy.
"During the honeymoon, [Kim] was exhausted," said Kanye. Makes sense! Honeymoon stuff is tiring! But then he continued, "because we worked on that photo so much." Huh. "We sat there and worked on that photo for, like, four days because the flowers were off-color." Just Kimye, sitting in an Irish castle, laboriously adjusting the photo saturation on Kim's iPhone 5S.
"Can you imagine telling someone who wants to just Instagram a photo, who's the number one person on Instagram, 'We need to work on the color of the flower wall,' or the idea that it's a Givenchy dress, and it's not about the name Givenchy, it's about the talent that is Riccardo Tisci — and how important Kim is to the Internet?" West wondered. No, tbh, I cannot imagine that. [Newser]
ANYWAY, in the larger context to the panel, apparently, Kanye was "in rare form — laughing, interrupting, ruminating and charmingly holding forth." His main point was that he just wants to make the world a more beautiful place and battle mediocrity, via branding. Which is why the flowers had to be just right, duh.
He also started off by saying, "I don't want to say these really big over-the-top statements that end up getting quoted," which clearly did not happen. [Billboard]
Taylor Swift, who is rapidly transforming into the coolest mom on the planet, appeared in a special "cooks and their musician friends" issue of Food Network magazine with Ina Garten. Taylor laments cooking for men who are on diets: "I'm like, 'I can't hang out with you,'" she says. Then she and Ina drink whiskey sours. Bless. [The Cut]
Report: Justin Bieber smokes "burrito-sized joints." HOW DOES HE FIT THEM IN HIS MOUTH? Where does he get tortilla-sized rolling paper? This groundbreaking investigation raises far more questions than it solves. [Radar]
- Lorde's parents are engaged, after nearly 30 years together! She already tweeted that she has now seen a diamond in the flesh, so that joke is already taken. [E!]
- Idina Menzel was apparently in the preliminary steps of having a "wardrobe malfunction" at Radio City Music Hall and was extremely chill about it. FREE THE NIPPLE OR IT WILL FREE ITSELF. [Gossip Cop]
- Shailene Woodley says she would like to play Stevie Nicks. Get in line, Shailene. [Gossip Cop]
- Rihanna and Chris Martin got dinner together recently and some people thought they were dating (not me, though, because Chris Martin seems like a nerd). They were actually having a dinner-meeting to discuss Jay Z, who is sad, says a source. K! [ONTD]
- Robert Pattinson says he does not understand how people think Twilight — a film about a young man who can't decide whether to eat his girlfriend, to kill her with his penis, or to ask her to drop out of high school to marry him — is sexist. [PopSugar]
- Leonardo DiCaprio has pledged $7 million to ocean conservation. Presumably he'll just throw a check addressed to Poseidon off the side of his giant yacht, along with all the other garbage. [NY Daily News]